byebye

(bits and pieces of a text someone shared with me. i don’t know who the original author is, please msg me if you know or if you need it taken down)

[…] I feel extremely ignored and it just brought in to question whether I can consider those that make me feel like that my friends. I would love to, but it’s so hard when it seems that no one ever wants to know what’s going on with me. It’s a selfish feeling, but really, humans are selfish creatures and I’m sick trying to be so selfless, helping others that don’t help me.

Friendships aren’t supposed to be such hard work on the part of one person. They should be easier. They shouldn’t have me constantly worried that I’m just being pitied while everyone else is being adored.

I am someone. I am something. When I was with my family I realized that. […] It’s time for me to focus more on myself through all of my self loathing.

That doesn’t mean I love those I love any less or I’ll try any less to do what I need for them to be happy. […] but I’m not going to step out of my way to keep up dwindling friendships when I can be focusing on the people that actually make me happy, not the ones that stress me out, lie to me, hide things, and just ignore me in general, because that isn’t friendship.